3 Creepy Notes: Extreme Loneliness Before Suicide

nathan fielder suicide GIF by Super Deluxe

In the 50’s and 60’s, a Catholic who committed suicide is not allowed to be blessed inside the Church before burial. It was believed during this period that suicide is a great sin and a violation of God’s  greatest commandment to love one’s self before loving others: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

But with the advent of the social sciences and psychological research studies, the Church started to relax its conservative stance against suicide. Moral theologians and the Church hierarchy began to realize that  persons who commit suicide are actually very lonely people who need love. sympathy, and immediate help from others for their problems instead of public condemnation. People who are about to commit suicide are extremely lonely and depressed individuals, as well as pressured by their personal, family, or business problems. There is a higher degree of “unfreedom” felt by people who commit suicide because of the extreme social detachment they experience in life.

depressed black and white GIF

The French sociologist Emile Durkheim has an interesting theory on why people commit suicide—the social integration theory. This theory sees the connection between social integration and the risk of suicide. It simply states that people who are socially attached to their social groups are less likely to commit suicide than those who are detached from their own groups in society. Those who lack social bonding with their own families, friends, and relatives are prone to commit egoistic suicide when they encounter serious problem or crisis in life. Social detachment denies people of communal support which is necessary for the helpless to overcome loneliness and the risk of self-destruction.

 

Depression may be the proximate cause of suicide but the ultimate cause is the loss of communal bonding and support. Extreme depression is the result of social isolation and detachment from one’s social group. Serious personal trouble can be bearable if one has a supportive family and group of friends who are willing to empathize and extend various forms of assistance to a lonely celebrity.

3 Creepy Suicide Notes

The following creepy suicide notes complied by a psychiatrist reveals the serious problems and loneliness of people who are about to commit suicide:

 

over it abandon thread GIF

  1. “I am now convinced that my condition is too chronic, and therefore a cure is doubtful. All of a sudden all will and determination to fight has left me. I did desperately want to get well. But it was not to be–I am defeated and exhausted physically and emotionally. Try not to grieve. Be glad I am at least free from the miseries and loneliness I have endured for so long.”

reverse change of heart GIF

      2. “My mind–always warped and twisted–has reached the point where I can wait no longer–I don’t dare wait longer–until there is the final twist and it snaps and I spend the rest of my life in some state run snake pit. I’ve lived 47 years–there aren’t 47 days I would live over again if I could avoid it. I am going out–and I hope it is out. Imagine God playing a dirty trick on me like another life! Will you see Valerie through college–she is the only one about whom I am concerned as this .38 whispers in my ear.”

suicide GIF

     3. “Excuse the blood, but I have slit my wrists and neck. No one will understand the reason for this, anyway. To give some semblance of an explanation, I’m not a human, this is just a dream and soon I will awake. It was too cold and the blood was coagulating all the time, plus my new knife is too dull. If I don’t succeed dying to the knife I will blow all the shit out of my skull.”

suicidal GIF

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

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3 Creepy Notes: Extreme Loneliness Before Suicide

nathan fielder suicide GIF by Super Deluxe

In the 50’s and 60’s, a Catholic who committed suicide is not allowed to be blessed inside the Church before burial. It was believed during this period that suicide is a great sin and a violation of God’s  greatest commandment to love one’s self before loving others: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

But with the advent of the social sciences and psychological research studies, the Church started to relax its conservative stance against suicide. Moral theologians and the Church hierarchy began to realize that  persons who commit suicide are actually very lonely people who need love. sympathy, and immediate help from others for their problems instead of public condemnation. People who are about to commit suicide are extremely lonely and depressed individuals, as well as pressured by their personal, family, or business problems. There is a higher degree of “unfreedom” felt by people who commit suicide because of the extreme social detachment they experience in life.

depressed black and white GIF

The French sociologist Emile Durkheim has an interesting theory on why people commit suicide—the social integration theory. This theory sees the connection between social integration and the risk of suicide. It simply states that people who are socially attached to their social groups are less likely to commit suicide than those who are detached from their own groups in society. Those who lack social bonding with their own families, friends, and relatives are prone to commit egoistic suicide when they encounter serious problem or crisis in life. Social detachment denies people of communal support which is necessary for the helpless to overcome loneliness and the risk of self-destruction.

 

Depression may be the proximate cause of suicide but the ultimate cause is the loss of communal bonding and support. Extreme depression is the result of social isolation and detachment from one’s social group. Serious personal trouble can be bearable if one has a supportive family and group of friends who are willing to empathize and extend various forms of assistance to a lonely celebrity.

3 Creepy Suicide Notes

The following creepy suicide notes complied by a psychiatrist reveals the serious problems and loneliness of people who are about to commit suicide:

 

over it abandon thread GIF

  1. “I am now convinced that my condition is too chronic, and therefore a cure is doubtful. All of a sudden all will and determination to fight has left me. I did desperately want to get well. But it was not to be–I am defeated and exhausted physically and emotionally. Try not to grieve. Be glad I am at least free from the miseries and loneliness I have endured for so long.”

reverse change of heart GIF

      2. “My mind–always warped and twisted–has reached the point where I can wait no longer–I don’t dare wait longer–until there is the final twist and it snaps and I spend the rest of my life in some state run snake pit. I’ve lived 47 years–there aren’t 47 days I would live over again if I could avoid it. I am going out–and I hope it is out. Imagine God playing a dirty trick on me like another life! Will you see Valerie through college–she is the only one about whom I am concerned as this .38 whispers in my ear.”

suicide GIF

     3. “Excuse the blood, but I have slit my wrists and neck. No one will understand the reason for this, anyway. To give some semblance of an explanation, I’m not a human, this is just a dream and soon I will awake. It was too cold and the blood was coagulating all the time, plus my new knife is too dull. If I don’t succeed dying to the knife I will blow all the shit out of my skull.”

suicidal GIF

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

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Anthony Bourdain’s Suicide and the Limits of Popularity

The tragic death and suicide of the Anthony Bourdain this week is an eye-opener for some of us who want fame, wealth, and popularity at all costs.

Anthony Bourdain is an American celebrity chef, author, travel documentarian, and CNN television personality who starred in programs focusing on the exploration of international culture, cuisine, and human condition. He was considered one of the most influential chefs in the world by many commentators. He first became known for his 2000 bestselling book “Kitchen Confidential: Adventurers in the Culinary Underbelly”.

To many people,  Bourdain had enjoyed all the fame and material rewards due to top celebrities idolized by millions of admirers. But only few people, most probably only his closest friends and relatives, knew what he had actually gone through in his private life. Since celebrities appear happy in front of TV cameras and usually secretive about their personal life, we assume that their being rich and famous is the ideal goal in life.

But things are not what they seem. What appears from the outside may not be from the inside.

The irony of public life is that the more people become popular to the public because of their extraordinary talents and abilities, the more they lose their freedom and ability to mingle around with the poor, ordinary people, and their fans without fear of being hurt and lowering their social stature. Many people aspire to be like Anthony Bourdain, Michael Jackson, Bruno Mars, and all other top celebrities because they are praised by millions of fans around the world. But they may not be fully aware that to be rich and popular implies moving more to your own private life and inner sanctuary to find peace and consolation with your loved ones and away from the noise of screaming fans. It also requires nurturing a strong social bonding with their inner circle of friends which can reduce the risk of committing suicide.

People’s lives have two dimensions: The public and the private.

In the public sphere we project ourselves based on what our bosses, managers, or producers and directors, in the case of show business, who will tell us what to do in our jobs. The public arena is the stage of our public performance but the private sphere is our backstage where we return to our true selves and meet our own family and inner circle of friends, and relatives.

Life is indeed ironic. Anthony Bourdain and the rest of the celebrities may had appear happy with their fans and people who surrounded them, but in reality all that transpired could be just for the show dictated by directors, scriptwriters and producers. If Bruno Mars, for instance, could appear very happy singing in front of his adoring fans during his concert. But after that? He could return lonely to his hotel if he has no intimate and loyal friends and relatives who would support him outside his public performance. Robin Williams, another famous actor who committed suicide, could be indeed very funny and appear joyful to his fans in the movie or TV screens, but deep indeed as a private person he was lonely and hurting inside and longing for genuine love from people who surrounded him. But this seemed not his case when Williams once said:

Anthony Bourdain’s life was not easy. Although he was successful in his career part of life, he was a lonely man in private life. Before he became famous, he struggled against his drug addiction and alcoholism. He was a chef in a huge mega city of New York where social alienation is high. He was not also successful in his married life, being divorced twice. Research shows that men tend to suffer emotionally more than women after breakups or divorce. He probably hurting privately with all his past marital separations. Bourdain only has one child. If he has many children who are very supportive to him despite these divorces, he would not probably commit suicide.

Celebrities are actually lonely in front of “lonely crowd” during their public performances.  Loneliness would even be greater if celebrities do not have their own supportive inner circle of family members, close relatives, and friends who could console them in times of personal crisis and trouble. The social integration theory of Emile Durkheim states the level of social integration of people with their social groups is connected with the risk of suicide. The more people are attached with their social groups, such as family, peer, kin, or organization, the lesser is their risk of committing suicide. Communal support  can prevent depression and egoistic suicide.

Celebrities can be prone to depression and suicide if they have a weak social bonding with their social groups. Some rich and famous are able to manage stress and pressure in their public life as celebrities because they are able to maintain their strong bonding with their families and friends who provide a strong support system to their work and career.

Bourdain’s death can provide us an important lesson: Life is not all about popularity and material success! Life is being and not having. Whatever blessings we receive in life must not hinder us from searching and pursuing a spirituality and finding the true meaning of life beyond material happiness. Bourdain became very busy after he became a celebrity that he found less time to enjoy life with his loved ones. In one of his interviews, he longed to be just a father to his daughter, to enjoy the moment of being just a dad, not a celebrity! Spiritual joy is therefore more lasting than material happiness! What makes smile in our journey to the next life is not our material success and popularity, but the joy and happy memories we have created with our loved ones and with people we care about.

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