Why Marital Commitments Change?

everything know GIF

There is only one important reason why people’s commitments change. Commitments change because people and situations always transform which are often beyond human control. Married couple’s commitment to love one another, for instance, can change because one or both partners alter their perception or love for the other due to physical change.

marriage proposal GIF

A change in one’s body because of age, illness, or a “loss of a youthful and sexy body” can sometimes alter a partner’s love for the other. So many couples separate because the husband or wife finds the other “unattractive” due to age, disease, neglect, etc. If the married couple lack strong spiritual values, then more likely the physical change lead to a “lost of love” in one or both partners.

angry 90s GIF

real housewives of orange county divorce GIF

Another factor is the change in the social circumstances. Situations do change that can force committed people to change their views of the other. For instance, a young and happy couple living a middle class lifestyle may experience frequent fights that can eventually lead to separation due to economic pressure when their businesses are down or bankrupt. Or a happy couple can end up filing a divorce when one partner discovered that the other has a one-night stand with a beautiful person.

sarah jessica parker flirting GIF by Divorce

People in society live in social networks. They cannot avoid meeting with “exciting people” with other circles of friends.

divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483.jpeg

Lastly, people stayed until death in a marital relationship because they accept and forgive their partners’ faults and betrayals.

court GIF

This implies a strong philosophy and spirituality in life that can strengthen people’s resolve to love their partners “no matter what” because they believe in something supernatural.

Animated GIF

Commitment in relationship implies daily negotiation between partners and a spiritual resolve to stay together because they love one another in front of a Supreme Being.

john legend love GIF by Columbia Records

Photo credits: Pexels.com free photos

Thanks for reading this post. Please like, comment, and share it to educate others. God bless!


 

3 Creepy Notes: Extreme Loneliness Before Suicide

nathan fielder suicide GIF by Super Deluxe

In the 50’s and 60’s, a Catholic who committed suicide is not allowed to be blessed inside the Church before burial. It was believed during this period that suicide is a great sin and a violation of God’s  greatest commandment to love one’s self before loving others: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

But with the advent of the social sciences and psychological research studies, the Church started to relax its conservative stance against suicide. Moral theologians and the Church hierarchy began to realize that  persons who commit suicide are actually very lonely people who need love. sympathy, and immediate help from others for their problems instead of public condemnation. People who are about to commit suicide are extremely lonely and depressed individuals, as well as pressured by their personal, family, or business problems. There is a higher degree of “unfreedom” felt by people who commit suicide because of the extreme social detachment they experience in life.

depressed black and white GIF

The French sociologist Emile Durkheim has an interesting theory on why people commit suicide—the social integration theory. This theory sees the connection between social integration and the risk of suicide. It simply states that people who are socially attached to their social groups are less likely to commit suicide than those who are detached from their own groups in society. Those who lack social bonding with their own families, friends, and relatives are prone to commit egoistic suicide when they encounter serious problem or crisis in life. Social detachment denies people of communal support which is necessary for the helpless to overcome loneliness and the risk of self-destruction.

 

Depression may be the proximate cause of suicide but the ultimate cause is the loss of communal bonding and support. Extreme depression is the result of social isolation and detachment from one’s social group. Serious personal trouble can be bearable if one has a supportive family and group of friends who are willing to empathize and extend various forms of assistance to a lonely celebrity.

3 Creepy Suicide Notes

The following creepy suicide notes complied by a psychiatrist reveals the serious problems and loneliness of people who are about to commit suicide:

 

over it abandon thread GIF

  1. “I am now convinced that my condition is too chronic, and therefore a cure is doubtful. All of a sudden all will and determination to fight has left me. I did desperately want to get well. But it was not to be–I am defeated and exhausted physically and emotionally. Try not to grieve. Be glad I am at least free from the miseries and loneliness I have endured for so long.”

reverse change of heart GIF

      2. “My mind–always warped and twisted–has reached the point where I can wait no longer–I don’t dare wait longer–until there is the final twist and it snaps and I spend the rest of my life in some state run snake pit. I’ve lived 47 years–there aren’t 47 days I would live over again if I could avoid it. I am going out–and I hope it is out. Imagine God playing a dirty trick on me like another life! Will you see Valerie through college–she is the only one about whom I am concerned as this .38 whispers in my ear.”

suicide GIF

     3. “Excuse the blood, but I have slit my wrists and neck. No one will understand the reason for this, anyway. To give some semblance of an explanation, I’m not a human, this is just a dream and soon I will awake. It was too cold and the blood was coagulating all the time, plus my new knife is too dull. If I don’t succeed dying to the knife I will blow all the shit out of my skull.”

suicidal GIF

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

Thank you for reading this post. Subscribe or follow this website for more updates.

7 Danger Signs that Your Boyfriend Only Wants Sex in Your Relationship

i love you wink GIF

1. He only notices how you look and not your personhood. 

tom selleck flirt GIF

You are more than your physical appearance. You have your own set of values, religious beliefs, intelligence, life goals, and plans for a lifetime commitment in marriage Men who are sincerely interested in a relationship with you  will compliment you for your personal qualities and dignity as a person. They would also appreciate your talents and abilities, and sense of humor.

Men who are focused on having sex with you will tell you how great your hair looks or hot your ass looks in that dress. He would always tell how he noticed your sexy body parts. If your boyfriend is only interested of your body, then your relationship with him is going nowhere. Find another guy!

2. His conversations always turns sexual

carrie brownstein GIF

If your boyfriend always talk about sexual matters with you, even if done in jest, then he is not serious to bring to the altar of marriage. If you tell him about your successful sales presentation and he remarks how about how the client probably couldn’t take his eyes off you because you’re so beautiful and look so hot in your business suit, then your man is probably after only of your body. When you tell him you can hardly wait to go home and just soak in a hot bath, he’s quick to tell you, he wishes he could be there to wash your back, then he is not serious in your relationship. It’s time to say goodbye to him!

3. He does not invest in your relationship.

season 3 josh GIF by Bachelor in Paradise

Men who are only interested in sex don’t want to invest more time or money in developing a relationship with you. They are looking only for convenience and the easiest way to gratify their needs. They would never bring you to expensive restaurants for fine dining nor spend more money for text messaging and calls to contact you. They don’t buy expensive gifts. They would prefer to bring you to a burger or pizza house to save money. They usually disappear and look for another prey once they get what they want from you.

4. He wants hug, kiss, and then to go straight to the bed with you.

the oc kiss GIF

In a relationship where someone is excited about knowing you, curious about your life and what you think, there are so many things to talk about. In a relationship where someone is only interested in using you for sex, there’s nothing important to discuss (Segel, 2017). Love waits! If your boyfriend is really serious to wed you in the church, he would wait for the honeymoon!

5.  He doesn’t introduce you to his family, close relatives, and friends. He’s in a hurry!

jane the virgin date GIF

If your boyfriend is not introducing you to his family, close relatives, and friends, he has a sinister plan for you. He is not interested of establishing a long-term commitment with you in marriage. Remember that marriage of two people is also a union of two families and their network of relatives and friends. If he is keeping you away from his family and relatives, he’s probably thinking only of a short-term relationship with you and may only be thinking of having sex with you! He’s in a hurry. If this is the case, start looking for another guy worthy of your love!

6. He’s Handsy

smelling GIF

You’re out together in a movie or even in public, and he constantly wants to kiss you, rub you, grope you, and tells you he can’t wait to get all naked, then stay away from him.”If he can’t keep his hands off of you, then that’s actually a bad sign that he is only interested of your body and not your real self as a person. Dump him! Find another guy who is mature and serious of marrying you! (Segel, 2017).

7. He says he loves you immediately.

i love you heart GIF

The first stage of love is infatuation. If a guy tells you that he immediately loves you the moment he saw you, he’s lying and more likely be looking only for sex. He is not a serious in your courtship  and to bring you to the altar. True love takes time and effort to know the attitude, value system, and personality of one’s partner.

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

References

Schwimmer, L. (6 Dec 2017). “10 Signs he Only Wants Sex with You!.” Huffpost. Retrieved from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/larry-schwimmer/10-signs-he-only-wants-to_b_7688110.html.

Segel, A. (17 June 2017). “6 signs a Guy is Using You for Sex”. Elite Daily. Retrieved from https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/sex/signs-a-guy-is-using-you-for-sex/1994771.

Thank you for reading this post. Follow this blog for more updates.

4 Top Myths about Women and Courtship!

attractive-beautiful-beauty-607891

Introduction

Hello to all my friends, followers, and subscribers!

In this post, we are going to clarify the role of women in courtship, whether they are active or passive in the process of wooing a partner, as well as their attitude to romance, whether they are more romantic than men and suffer more than them following a breakup of a romantic relationship.

It is widely believed in urban societies that women are more romantic than men and that they do not initiate the process of courtship. It is assumed by many that men must always initiate courtship. The women are expected to just wait for male initiatives and passively choose whose seductions and proposals from their suitors they would accept to become their boyfriends. Since women tend to read novels and romantic stories, it is also assumed that they are more romantic and that they would suffer more than men in dealing with separations or break-ups.

It is generally perceived as a cultural taboo for women to court men. Women would appear “cheap” or “easy to get” if they make the first move in expressing their feelings towards men they fall in love with. Thus one may ask: Do women really court men? Are women more romantic than men and would suffer more hardships after a serious break-up?

Let us examine the following top myths or falsehoods on women and courtship. I hope you will this post helpful in your social life.

Myth No. 1

Women are passive in courtship. Men should make the first move and the women only respond to it.

adult-blur-bouquet-236287

Fact:

Both women and men are active in courtship, albeit in different roles. The most common pattern is that women court men indirectly through nonverbal signs, while men court women directly through verbal contact.

 

Many people believe that women do not play an active role in courtship. Women are said to just wait for men to do the first move to court them. In patriarchal societies, it is always thought that men must initiate the courtship and control the entire process of establishing a romantic relationship. But some studies have shown that women are actually active in the courtship process (e.g. Moore & Butler, 1989; Grammer, 1989).

Although women do not  generally initiate verbal acts or explicitly express their affection for specific men, they nevertheless initiate the courtship process by first manifesting nonverbal signs of infatuation such as occasional glancing, dropping a handkerchief, being extra sweet, etc., hinting that they are interested or want to be pursued or courted. If men find these signs of interest by women worth pursuing, they usually would respond through verbal contact. Therefore both men and women are active in courtship. Courtship is not a one-way traffic. The women generally initiate the courtship process by showing signs of affection to the men that they fall in love with. Men generally respond to these signs through verbal moves to start the romantic relationship.

Research studies often point to the seductive eye contact as the most common nonverbal strategy used by women  to woo their men.

alluring-attractive-beautiful-808579

Of course, there are always exceptions. There are men who show nonverbal signs to women in order to show that they are attracted to them. But the most common pattern in courtship seems to be that the women provide the motive or nonverbal signs that they can be courted by certain men. In turn, men respond to these signs by verbal contact to complete the process of wooing.

Myth No. 2

Men are always aggressive in courting women even without signs of interest.

adult-affection-beard-842546

Fact:

Men are generally hesitant to court women without nonverbal signs of attraction from them. Their first move is usually contingent to women’s interest towards them.

Many people think that men can just court any woman they are attracted to even without any signs of  seduction. But research studies show a different picture! Men tend to be hesitant to approach and court women without some form of seduction or nonverbal signals of attraction. These signals seem to be very important because males are generally hesitant to approach a female in the absence of indications of interest (Crook, 1972).

attractive-beautiful-brickwall-919615

The very frequency of approaches by males appears to be highly correlated to the frequency of a female’s nonverbal solicitation (Moore & Butler, 1989). Thus, in response to these signals males often make the first overt move.

Males usually say they’d use seduction more frequently than females and they erroneously conclude that they started the interaction (Grammer, 1989). But the male seductions appear to be contingent on the female’s initiating behaviors. They do not seduce women if they feel that the latter are not interested. Despite the sensitivity to the females’ subtle signals, men still process these signals in a largely sub-conscious way and would only initiate verbal moves if they are certain that women have special interest towards them.

adults-beautiful-casual-323180 (1)

Myth No. 3

Women are more romantic than men in courtship.

adult-affection-boat-265878

Fact:

Although women tend to read romantic novels and stories, studies show that men are actually more romantic than women in their outlook on love and invest more in building up the relationship.

 

Since most romance novels and romantic comedies are marketed to female audiences, women are generally considered more romantic than men. But one study that adopted the much-used Romantic Beliefs Scale indicated men have more romantic beliefs than women. It asked the respondents to rate the extent to which they agree with statements like, “There will only be one real love for me,” and, “If I love someone, I know I can make the relationship work, despite any obstacles.” The results showed that men typically outscore women on romantic beliefs.

 beautiful-blur-bridal-256737

Moreover, men are more likely than women to believe in the romantic notion of “love at first sight.” They are also more likely to invest more time and resources in building up their romantic relationship. In one research, men tend to spend more money for Valentine’s day than women. Sending a Valentine’s card is said to be sufficient for women. But men would go an extra mile to show their romantic affection for their partners by buying flowers, providing chocolates, arranging a candlelit dinner at a restaurant, booking a weekend away, buying theater tickets and splashing out on champagne or jewellery. This is a finding of a survey of around 2,000 men and women done by the researchers Consumer Intelligence for Valentine’s Day.

Myth No. 4

Women suffer more than men in serious romantic break-ups because  of their emotional sensitivity.

adult-alone-black-and-white-568021

 

Fact: 

Research studies show that since men have fewer friends to share their personal problems compared to women,  they are more likely to suffer more heartaches than women following a breakup of a romantic relationship.

 

Many research studies show that women are more emotional than men. Thus, women are stereotyped as experiencing more anxiety, guilt, sadness, and anger following relational dissolution than men.

Surprisingly, there are also other studies that show that women are more responsible when deciding to end the relationship. They tend to play the role of breakup initiator more often than do men. They become conscious of relational problems sooner than men do, which allows them time to prepare for the breakup and consequently leave men surprised by the revelation.

Men tend to be more vulnerable, shocked, or upset after romantic separations. A study by Shimek and Bello (2014) revealed that men handle the ending of a romantic relationship worse than women. They also have stronger feelings of sadness, depression, and loneliness compared to women.

Men have fewer individuals they can rely on and turn to for some support after a romantic break-up. They become emotionally devastated after a separation because their primary confidant was their now absent partner. A research by Day and Livingstone (2003) indicated that women are more likely to confide in others about their romantic problems, while men are more independent and often refrain from expressing their emotions to their friends.

Thank you for reading this post! Please comment, like, or share this post to help others. Cheers and best wishes!

 Photo credit: Pexels.com free photos

References

Arla L. Day, and Holly A. Livingstone. “Gender differences in perceptions of stressors and utilization of social support among university students.” Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science 35 (2003): 73–83.

Sally A. Shumaker, and D. Robin Hill. “Gender differences in social support and physical health.” Health Psychology 10 (1991): 102–11.

Shimek, C. & Bello, R. (2014). Coping with Break-Ups: Rebound Relationships and Gender Socialization. Soc. Sci. 2014, 3(1), 24-43; doi:10.3390/socsci3010024.

The Telegraph. “It’s official: men are more romantic than women”. Retrieved from https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/online-dating/9860958/Its-official-men-are-more-romantic-than-women.html.

Seidman, G. (1 Oct 2014). “6 Myths About Men, Women, and Relationships”. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201409/6-myths-about-men-women-and-relationships.

 

7 Danger Signs that Your Boyfriend Only Wants Sex in Your Relationship

i love you wink GIF

1. He only notices how you look and not your personhood. 

tom selleck flirt GIF

You are more than your physical appearance. You have your own set of values, religious beliefs, intelligence, life goals, and plans for a lifetime commitment in marriage Men who are sincerely interested in a relationship with you  will compliment you for your personal qualities and dignity as a person. They would also appreciate your talents and abilities, and sense of humor.

Men who are focused on having sex with you will tell you how great your hair looks or hot your ass looks in that dress. He would always tell how he noticed your sexy body parts. If your boyfriend is only interested of your body, then your relationship with him is going nowhere. Find another guy!

2. His conversations always turns sexual

carrie brownstein GIF

If your boyfriend always talk about sexual matters with you, even if done in jest, then he is not serious to bring to the altar of marriage. If you tell him about your successful sales presentation and he remarks how about how the client probably couldn’t take his eyes off you because you’re so beautiful and look so hot in your business suit, then your man is probably after only of your body. When you tell him you can hardly wait to go home and just soak in a hot bath, he’s quick to tell you, he wishes he could be there to wash your back, then he is not serious in your relationship. It’s time to say goodbye to him!

3. He does not invest in your relationship.

season 3 josh GIF by Bachelor in Paradise

Men who are only interested in sex don’t want to invest more time or money in developing a relationship with you. They are looking only for convenience and the easiest way to gratify their needs. They would never bring you to expensive restaurants for fine dining nor spend more money for text messaging and calls to contact you. They don’t buy expensive gifts. They would prefer to bring you to a burger or pizza house to save money. They usually disappear and look for another prey once they get what they want from you.

4. He wants hug, kiss, and then to go straight to the bed with you.

the oc kiss GIF

In a relationship where someone is excited about knowing you, curious about your life and what you think, there are so many things to talk about. In a relationship where someone is only interested in using you for sex, there’s nothing important to discuss (Segel, 2017). Love waits! If your boyfriend is really serious to wed you in the church, he would wait for the honeymoon!

5.  He doesn’t introduce you to his family, close relatives, and friends. He’s in a hurry!

jane the virgin date GIF

If your boyfriend is not introducing you to his family, close relatives, and friends, he has a sinister plan for you. He is not interested of establishing a long-term commitment with you in marriage. Remember that marriage of two people is also a union of two families and their network of relatives and friends. If he is keeping you away from his family and relatives, he’s probably thinking only of a short-term relationship with you and may only be thinking of having sex with you! He’s in a hurry. If this is the case, start looking for another guy worthy of your love!

6. He’s Handsy

smelling GIF

You’re out together in a movie or even in public, and he constantly wants to kiss you, rub you, grope you, and tells you he can’t wait to get all naked, then stay away from him.”If he can’t keep his hands off of you, then that’s actually a bad sign that he is only interested of your body and not your real self as a person. Dump him! Find another guy who is mature and serious of marrying you! (Segel, 2017).

7. He says he loves you immediately.

i love you heart GIF

The first stage of love is infatuation. If a guy tells you that he immediately loves you the moment he saw you, he’s lying and more likely be looking only for sex. He is not a serious in your courtship  and to bring you to the altar. True love takes time and effort to know the attitude, value system, and personality of one’s partner.

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

References

Schwimmer, L. (6 Dec 2017). “10 Signs he Only Wants Sex with You!.” Huffpost. Retrieved from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/larry-schwimmer/10-signs-he-only-wants-to_b_7688110.html.

Segel, A. (17 June 2017). “6 signs a Guy is Using You for Sex”. Elite Daily. Retrieved from https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/sex/signs-a-guy-is-using-you-for-sex/1994771.

Thank you for reading this post. Follow this blog for more updates.