Women Take Note: 5 Top Attitudes that Turn Off Guys

talk wife GIF

Many women may not be aware that there are things that turn off men. Of course, this can be cultural. It depends on the type of social expectations and gender roles between sexes in a particular culture. But those who reside in urban centers with middle-class orientation, the following attitudes and behaviors can generally turn off men:

1. Nagging

angry season 17 GIF

One of the top-most turn-offs for guys is the distressing and nagging attitude of women. Generally, what guys don’t like is the on-going complaints and issues raised by them. When you start finding faults in your guy and rise issues in everything he does, he will eventually get frustrated by you and the relationship (slism.com).

2. Bad Hygiene

girl throw up GIF by funk

Bad hygiene is among the top turn-offs for guys. Guys dislike bad hygiene. They avoid the company of women with a bad aroma. If you don’t clean your body, hair, and skin properly, then for sure you are turning your guy off with your unbearable odor. Always remember that guys crave for fresh breath and a sweet smell of skin and clear hair (slism.com).

3. Too Much Talking

wife talking GIF

An excessive and never-ending talking also turn a guy off. No doubt, guys love to listen, but they hate when all they have to do is to listen all the time. This creates an imbalance in conversation when a guy is not given enough time to make his talking. A talkative lady is considered egoistic by her guy. And if she keeps on repeating this kind of conversational attitude, her guy will surely draw away sooner (slism.com).

4. Excessive Obsession

tilda swinton dancing GIF

Infatuation is another feminine trait that is found to be as critical as above mentioned turn-offs. Normally, girls think that what turns men off is the hesitation of women in moving ahead with them. However, they do not realize that men also hate when girls get obsessed with them and demand for suddenly living together under the same roof and getting married. Every guy likes attention and progress in the relationship, but with a gradual pace. But when girls are infatuated beyond the limit, the guys get eventually frightened away (slism).

5. Discussing Ex-Boyfriends

dating kendall GIF by Bachelor in Paradise

One of the biggest turn-offs for guys is undoubtedly discussing your ex-boyfriend stories and personality with your present guy. It totally shocks him when he finds you still discussing your past relationships in front of him. This will make him think that either your current relationship has got flaws, or you are unable to get the ex-guy out of your mind. This will totally deteriorate your relation with your guy (slism.com).

Reference

Slism.com (n.d.). 12 Surprising turn Offs for guys That Most Girls Know Nothing About. Retrieved from https://slism.com/girlstalk/12-surprising-turn-offs-for-guys-that-most-girls-know-nothing-about.html

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Top Areas that Married Couples Argue

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Marriage is always inter-cultural. Two individuals who decide to tie the knot in marriage know that each one of them come from a different cultural orientation. Culture is a way of life of a group of people living in a particular locality. Every individual has distinct cultural orientation with regard to beliefs, values, attitudes, practices, and worldviews. Thus when two persons decide to stay together for life in marriage, it is expected that various personal conflicts and differences will arise during the union. Marriage is not only a “bed of roses”, but also a “bed of thorns” that requires daily and lifelong adjustment and negotiation between the husband and the wife to continue the marital commitment until  “death do us part.”

A study by Buss et al. (1990) revealed that cultural differences play an important role  in marital conflict. Research shows that the top 4 sources of conflict and disagreement between married couples are those related to sexual activity, finances, division of labor, and raising of children in the family. According to many research, these 4 areas of marital conflicts are often significantly related to almost all cases of marital problems:

1. Sexual Activity

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Photo Credit: Prawny at Pixabay.com

Conflicts in sexual activity during marriage occur over initiation of sexual activity, with the female often rejecting male overtures. Males may be more eager for sex with their partner in order to reduce the risk of her impregnation by a rival, or as a side effect of a low threshold for sex in order to maximize fertilization of additional females.

Sexual coercion by any spouse in marital life constitutes another, possibly related source of conflict, usually with the male coercing the female (e.g. Miller, 2000).  One study revealed that conflict in sexual activity in marriage has also been observed to occur over suspected or acknowledged infidelity, and over mate guarding, or jealousy. (Dillion et al., 2014).

2. Money Matters

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Photo Credit: LillyCantibile at Pixabay.com

Money matters or financial management is also a major area that causes conflict in marriage and can lead to divorce or separation if not handled properly by the couple.

Some researchers have observed that finances on marriage often increase marital conflict and the chance of divorce rises when wives’ income rises (Rogers & DeBoer, 2001). Dew, Britt, and Huston (2012) also found that marital conflict involving finances was the strongest predictor of divorce. Individuals in a family may feel disadvantaged if they do not get to spend as much money as they would like or if the person feels that someone else in the family gets to spend more than they do.

Other researcher indicated that women report that arguments about money last longer and reoccurred more often and husbands report more angry behavior regarding this topic. Disagreements over money are more likely to be handled the wrong way and be unresolved in marital relationships (Papp, Cummings, & Corke-Morey, 2009).

A study by Rogers and DeBoer (2001) revealed that women are happier with their marriage when their income increases, but men are not affected by their wives’ income increase. An increase in income for women is thought to reduce the chance of divorce since an increase of income promotes marital happiness for women.

3. Division of Labor in the Family

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The third major source of marital conflict is the division and distribution of labor in the family. The traditional gender always assign the housekeeping chores and child rearing to the wife, while the breadwining role is assigned to the husband.

One study revealed that the distribution of household chores can be a source of conflict for married people and can also be linked to gender inequality (Faulkner, Davey, & Davey, 2005). In our world today, less than 50% of women do not pursue careers in the workplace. But wives who have jobs outside of the home can increase martial conflict as women’s responsibilities include more than just taking care of the home and children (Faulkner, Davey, & Davey, 2005). Although  wives working outside of the home can help improve the couple’s financial situation, it can also increase the wives’ awareness of the problems in a marriage (Amato, 2010). In this case, working wives are pressured to perform the dual roles of doing housekeeping and earning extra income for the family outside the home. This unequal distribution of labor in the family is a major cause of conflict and divorce.

4. Raising Children

family-3036595_640

Photo credit: mohamed_hassan at Pixabay.com

Raising the children in the family is also a main source of conflict between the husband and the wife. Conflict may arise over the number and spacing of children in some cultures (Mason and Taj, 1987) but not in others (Mason and Smith, 2000). When spouses do disagree on family planning, husbands usually desire more children than wives, consistent with women providing more childcare.

One study revealed that U.S. wives and husbands’ lack of relatives to assist them in marital conflict with regard to children can makes family life difficult because there is an extended family nearby to offer assistance.

Final Words

A relationship with high levels of satisfaction can still end in dissolution if the partners are not committed to their relationship. Couples can still maintain their marital commitment despite various disagreements if they strive to keep the relationship going no matter what circumstances arise. In sociology, marriage is an ongoing negotiation between two people to keep their marital commitment. The success or continuity of the marriage would then depend on the willingness of the husband and wife to dialogue and and accept each other despite their personal and cultural differences. As the song goes,  “I love you because you’re you!” Each spouse must not surrender just because of irreconcilable differences. Conflicts must be seen as a challenge to actualize the marital vows to remain married “until death do us part.”

References

Amato, P. R. (2010). Research on divorce: Continuing trends and new developments.
Journal of Marriage and Family, 72, 650-666.

Faulkner, R. A., Davey, M., & Davey, A. (2005). Gender-related predictors of change in
marital satisfaction and marital conflict. The American Journal of Family
Therapy, 33, 61-83.

Lisa M. Dillon, L.M. et al (2015). Sources of Marital Conflict in Five Cultures. Evolutionary Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1177/147470491501300101.
Hamilton, K.A. (2013). The Effects of Marital Conflict and Marital Environment on Change in Marital Status. Thesis. UKnowledge.University of Kentucky. Retrieved fromhttps://uknowledge.uky.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1008&context=hes_etds.
Papp, L. M., Cummings, E. M., & Goeke-Morey, M. C. (2009). For richer, for poorer:
Money as a topic of marital conflict in the home. Family Relations, 58, 91-103.
Rogers, S. J. & DeBoer, D. D. (2001). Changes in wives’ income: Effects on marital
happiness, psychological well-being, and the risk of divorce. Journal of Marriage
and Family, 63, 458-472.
Rusbult, C. E. & Buunk, B. P. (1993). Commitment processes in close relationships: An
interdependent analysis. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, 175-
204.

Is Falling in Love Biological or Social?

pexels-photo-41068.jpeg

Have you experienced falling in love? What is it like? Do you it feel natural?

One biological theory suggests that falling in love is like “being drunk.” The love hormone can make people fall in love, making them “drunk” with erotic passion and altruism. Scientists who prescribed to this theory identified the hormone associated with falling in love as oxytocin, a hormone produced in one part of the brain called hypothalamus which is said to be playing a significant role in bonding, falling in love, and making friendship.

pexels-photo-991511.jpeg

To some social scientists at the School of Psychology at Birmingham University, the love hormone of oxytocin has an intoxicating effect to lovers similar to alcohol. It relaxes people and removes their social inhibition, anxiety, and fear when falling in love with their partners. It increases their pro-social behavior such as generosity, empathy, and trust and makes them feel more relaxed, happy, and confident in their romantic relationship.

pexels-photo-1040824.jpeg

The biological approach to romantic love suggests that falling in love is primarily influenced by people’s biological or physiological make-up and not by the social environment is somehow unacceptable to sociologists. To sociologists, falling in love is basically a socially-learned experience and behavior, determined by societal factors and not merely by hormones. The biological and bodily reactions felt by people when they fall in love are triggered and shaped by cultural forces outside the self.

pexels-photo.jpg

In the sociology of emotions, for instance, sociologists believe that people’s emotions are determined by society and culture. Thus, people’s deep feelings and emotions of love are primarily a product of cultural and social conditioning. In the same manner, people’s romantic feelings and expressions are learned and shaped by the local culture and not solely by biology. In many primitive societies, for instance, where arranged marriages and betrothals are common cultural practice, romantic love between the bride and groom is not a prerequisite for marriage.

pexels-photo-992711.jpeg

The feeling of falling in love and romance is nonexistent in these societies because there are no romantic things and expectations that can trigger the so-called love hormones and people’s minds are not ideologically conditioned to fall in love. Therefore, the idea that people must fall in love in courtship before marriage is not universal or found in all human societies. In many non-Western societies, couples do not fall in love before marriage. Some couples do not even know each other before the wedding. In these societies, the families and relatives are tasked to find the lifelong partner for their bride or groom and arrange the marriage.

pexels-photo-87500.jpeg

In Southern Philippines, a council of Muslim elders decided the marriage between a young and beautiful 20-year old girl and a 60-year old Moro rebel leader who already had 3 wives. The girl neither personally knew nor met him before their wedding. She only knew him through a photo given to her by the council before the ceremony. Thus, there was no falling in love and romantic love between them before marriage. And the marriage seemed to work well and they were blessed with beautiful kids.

brothers-family-siblings-boys-50692.jpeg

In Bangladesh, the youngest marriage in the world took place without romance and falling in love. According to 2001 Guinness Book of World Records, the youngest marriage involved an eleven-month-old baby boy and a three-month-old girl. The marriage took place in order to end a twenty-year feud between the children’s families (Delaney, 2012). These two cases illustrate that falling in love is not always required before marriage. It is not a natural or biologically-determined behavior such as drinking or eating which can bring death to the couple without it. People will not die without falling in love and romance.

thailand-buddhists-monks-and-50709.jpeg

Think of the thousands of celibate Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, and other religious monks and religious who live normal and generous lives despite being unmarried and chaste throughout their life. For sociologists, falling in love and romantic love are social constructions of society that started in the late 18th century in order to preserve the institution of marriage.

dirty-industry-stack-factory.jpg

Because of industrialization, migration, and urbanization, the influence of families and relatives in the arrangement of marriages declined. Thus, society has to create and manage various socialization tools such as romantic music, novels, films, posts, cards, stories, and other romantic things and processes in order to condition people’s minds that to fall in love is natural and a necessity for marriage.

pexels-photo-867462.jpeg

If falling in love and romantic love are socially learned behavior, then people should have some control over them. With sufficient knowledge about what men and women look for in their partners, romantic people, for instance, can change or enhance their looks and appearance. With the advent of modern medicine, cosmetic surgery, and other physical enhancing technology, they can change and improve their looks and appearance to make them attractive to their crushes or partners.

pexels-photo-324655.jpeg

They can also manage and improve their personal impressions in social interaction and dating by taking up personality-enhancing courses to make themselves romantically desirable and attractive to others. Through sufficient knowledge on the dynamics of romantic love and falling in love, they can, furthermore, discern which of their suitors are deserving of their true love and which of their romantic relationships is deceptive, obsessive, or authentic and leading towards marital commitment.

pexels-photo-787961.jpeg

Finally, they can structure and schedule their social functions to make themselves visible and desirable to people whom they want to establish romantic relationships. It is not true that real love and romance are written in the stars and determined by fate. More often, true love can be found and realized through  scientific knowledge on romantic love and marriage, mature and realistic decision-making process, and proper social positioning and management of the social tools of romantic love.

Photo credit: Pexels.com free photos

Thank you for reading this post. Feel free to comment, like, and share it. Cheers!

Web Hosting

Is Falling in Love Biological or Social?

pexels-photo-41068.jpeg

Have you experienced falling in love? What is it like? Do you it feel natural?

One biological theory suggests that falling in love is like “being drunk.” The love hormone can make people fall in love, making them “drunk” with erotic passion and altruism. Scientists who prescribed to this theory identified the hormone associated with falling in love as oxytocin, a hormone produced in one part of the brain called hypothalamus which is said to be playing a significant role in bonding, falling in love, and making friendship.

pexels-photo-991511.jpeg

To some social scientists at the School of Psychology at Birmingham University, the love hormone of oxytocin has an intoxicating effect to lovers similar to alcohol. It relaxes people and removes their social inhibition, anxiety, and fear when falling in love with their partners. It increases their pro-social behavior such as generosity, empathy, and trust and makes them feel more relaxed, happy, and confident in their romantic relationship.

pexels-photo-1040824.jpeg

The biological approach to romantic love suggests that falling in love is primarily influenced by people’s biological or physiological make-up and not by the social environment is somehow unacceptable to sociologists. To sociologists, falling in love is basically a socially-learned experience and behavior, determined by societal factors and not merely by hormones. The biological and bodily reactions felt by people when they fall in love are triggered and shaped by cultural forces outside the self.

pexels-photo.jpg

In the sociology of emotions, for instance, sociologists believe that people’s emotions are determined by society and culture. Thus, people’s deep feelings and emotions of love are primarily a product of cultural and social conditioning. In the same manner, people’s romantic feelings and expressions are learned and shaped by the local culture and not solely by biology. In many primitive societies, for instance, where arranged marriages and betrothals are common cultural practice, romantic love between the bride and groom is not a prerequisite for marriage.

pexels-photo-992711.jpeg

The feeling of falling in love and romance is nonexistent in these societies because there are no romantic things and expectations that can trigger the so-called love hormones and people’s minds are not ideologically conditioned to fall in love. Therefore, the idea that people must fall in love in courtship before marriage is not universal or found in all human societies. In many non-Western societies, couples do not fall in love before marriage. Some couples do not even know each other before the wedding. In these societies, the families and relatives are tasked to find the lifelong partner for their bride or groom and arrange the marriage.

pexels-photo-87500.jpeg

In Southern Philippines, a council of Muslim elders decided the marriage between a young and beautiful 20-year old girl and a 60-year old Moro rebel leader who already had 3 wives. The girl neither personally knew nor met him before their wedding. She only knew him through a photo given to her by the council before the ceremony. Thus, there was no falling in love and romantic love between them before marriage. And the marriage seemed to work well and they were blessed with beautiful kids.

brothers-family-siblings-boys-50692.jpeg

In Bangladesh, the youngest marriage in the world took place without romance and falling in love. According to 2001 Guinness Book of World Records, the youngest marriage involved an eleven-month-old baby boy and a three-month-old girl. The marriage took place in order to end a twenty-year feud between the children’s families (Delaney, 2012). These two cases illustrate that falling in love is not always required before marriage. It is not a natural or biologically-determined behavior such as drinking or eating which can bring death to the couple without it. People will not die without falling in love and romance.

thailand-buddhists-monks-and-50709.jpeg

Think of the thousands of celibate Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, and other religious monks and religious who live normal and generous lives despite being unmarried and chaste throughout their life. For sociologists, falling in love and romantic love are social constructions of society that started in the late 18th century in order to preserve the institution of marriage.

dirty-industry-stack-factory.jpg

Because of industrialization, migration, and urbanization, the influence of families and relatives in the arrangement of marriages declined. Thus, society has to create and manage various socialization tools such as romantic music, novels, films, posts, cards, stories, and other romantic things and processes in order to condition people’s minds that to fall in love is natural and a necessity for marriage.

pexels-photo-867462.jpeg

If falling in love and romantic love are socially learned behavior, then people should have some control over them. With sufficient knowledge about what men and women look for in their partners, romantic people, for instance, can change or enhance their looks and appearance. With the advent of modern medicine, cosmetic surgery, and other physical enhancing technology, they can change and improve their looks and appearance to make them attractive to their crushes or partners.

pexels-photo-324655.jpeg

They can also manage and improve their personal impressions in social interaction and dating by taking up personality-enhancing courses to make themselves romantically desirable and attractive to others. Through sufficient knowledge on the dynamics of romantic love and falling in love, they can, furthermore, discern which of their suitors are deserving of their true love and which of their romantic relationships is deceptive, obsessive, or authentic and leading towards marital commitment.

pexels-photo-787961.jpeg

Finally, they can structure and schedule their social functions to make themselves visible and desirable to people whom they want to establish romantic relationships. It is not true that real love and romance are written in the stars and determined by fate. More often, true love can be found and realized through  scientific knowledge on romantic love and marriage, mature and realistic decision-making process, and proper social positioning and management of the social tools of romantic love.

Photo credit: Pexels.com free photos

Thank you for reading this post. Feel free to comment, like, and share it. Cheers!

Web Hosting

Is Falling in Love Biological or Social?

pexels-photo-41068.jpeg

Have you experienced falling in love? What is it like? Do you it feel natural?

One biological theory suggests that falling in love is like “being drunk.” The love hormone can make people fall in love, making them “drunk” with erotic passion and altruism. Scientists who prescribed to this theory identified the hormone associated with falling in love as oxytocin, a hormone produced in one part of the brain called hypothalamus which is said to be playing a significant role in bonding, falling in love, and making friendship.

pexels-photo-991511.jpeg

To some social scientists at the School of Psychology at Birmingham University, the love hormone of oxytocin has an intoxicating effect to lovers similar to alcohol. It relaxes people and removes their social inhibition, anxiety, and fear when falling in love with their partners. It increases their pro-social behavior such as generosity, empathy, and trust and makes them feel more relaxed, happy, and confident in their romantic relationship.

pexels-photo-1040824.jpeg

The biological approach to romantic love suggests that falling in love is primarily influenced by people’s biological or physiological make-up and not by the social environment is somehow unacceptable to sociologists. To sociologists, falling in love is basically a socially-learned experience and behavior, determined by societal factors and not merely by hormones. The biological and bodily reactions felt by people when they fall in love are triggered and shaped by cultural forces outside the self.

pexels-photo.jpg

In the sociology of emotions, for instance, sociologists believe that people’s emotions are determined by society and culture. Thus, people’s deep feelings and emotions of love are primarily a product of cultural and social conditioning. In the same manner, people’s romantic feelings and expressions are learned and shaped by the local culture and not solely by biology. In many primitive societies, for instance, where arranged marriages and betrothals are common cultural practice, romantic love between the bride and groom is not a prerequisite for marriage.

pexels-photo-992711.jpeg

The feeling of falling in love and romance is nonexistent in these societies because there are no romantic things and expectations that can trigger the so-called love hormones and people’s minds are not ideologically conditioned to fall in love. Therefore, the idea that people must fall in love in courtship before marriage is not universal or found in all human societies. In many non-Western societies, couples do not fall in love before marriage. Some couples do not even know each other before the wedding. In these societies, the families and relatives are tasked to find the lifelong partner for their bride or groom and arrange the marriage.

pexels-photo-87500.jpeg

In Southern Philippines, a council of Muslim elders decided the marriage between a young and beautiful 20-year old girl and a 60-year old Moro rebel leader who already had 3 wives. The girl neither personally knew nor met him before their wedding. She only knew him through a photo given to her by the council before the ceremony. Thus, there was no falling in love and romantic love between them before marriage. And the marriage seemed to work well and they were blessed with beautiful kids.

brothers-family-siblings-boys-50692.jpeg

In Bangladesh, the youngest marriage in the world took place without romance and falling in love. According to 2001 Guinness Book of World Records, the youngest marriage involved an eleven-month-old baby boy and a three-month-old girl. The marriage took place in order to end a twenty-year feud between the children’s families (Delaney, 2012). These two cases illustrate that falling in love is not always required before marriage. It is not a natural or biologically-determined behavior such as drinking or eating which can bring death to the couple without it. People will not die without falling in love and romance.

thailand-buddhists-monks-and-50709.jpeg

Think of the thousands of celibate Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, and other religious monks and religious who live normal and generous lives despite being unmarried and chaste throughout their life. For sociologists, falling in love and romantic love are social constructions of society that started in the late 18th century in order to preserve the institution of marriage.

dirty-industry-stack-factory.jpg

Because of industrialization, migration, and urbanization, the influence of families and relatives in the arrangement of marriages declined. Thus, society has to create and manage various socialization tools such as romantic music, novels, films, posts, cards, stories, and other romantic things and processes in order to condition people’s minds that to fall in love is natural and a necessity for marriage.

pexels-photo-867462.jpeg

If falling in love and romantic love are socially learned behavior, then people should have some control over them. With sufficient knowledge about what men and women look for in their partners, romantic people, for instance, can change or enhance their looks and appearance. With the advent of modern medicine, cosmetic surgery, and other physical enhancing technology, they can change and improve their looks and appearance to make them attractive to their crushes or partners.

pexels-photo-324655.jpeg

They can also manage and improve their personal impressions in social interaction and dating by taking up personality-enhancing courses to make themselves romantically desirable and attractive to others. Through sufficient knowledge on the dynamics of romantic love and falling in love, they can, furthermore, discern which of their suitors are deserving of their true love and which of their romantic relationships is deceptive, obsessive, or authentic and leading towards marital commitment.

pexels-photo-787961.jpeg

Finally, they can structure and schedule their social functions to make themselves visible and desirable to people whom they want to establish romantic relationships. It is not true that real love and romance are written in the stars and determined by fate. More often, true love can be found and realized through  scientific knowledge on romantic love and marriage, mature and realistic decision-making process, and proper social positioning and management of the social tools of romantic love.

Photo credit: Pexels.com free photos

Thank you for reading this post. Feel free to comment, like, and share it. Cheers!

Web Hosting